Private Eyes...Are Watching You....

Remember that song? Well, some of my friends have gone totally private with their blogs, for reasons that make a lot of sense. A couple of friends have anonymous blogs as well. In fact, my homeschooling blog, although public and searchable, is anonymous and never links back to this blog or to my profile. I did that to protect our privacy here. But what about this blog? Should I take more precaution? I like to post pictures, but I don't like thinking they're always out there for anyone to see. I used to have a link to Endless Joy on my facebook page but I removed that. I also removed my links from my cooking blog to this one. Is that enough? Am I having a bout of paranoia? I really don't feel a privacy issue when it comes to myself. If I find something passionate I want to write about, I don't mind telling the whole world about it. I try to be my own self all of the time, even when it's increasingly hard to do so. What I do take issue with is anything that puts my kids at risk. Pictures and information about my children should be locked down pretty tight, but how tight is really necessary? Is it such an issue that I need to move my children and day-to-day information to a 4th BLOG?? and keep this one for personal thought and reflection? It's a new world we live in...

My Funny Valentine

The Friday before Valentine's Day, the kids got to attend their first Valentine's party. Due to illness or something else, they had never attended one before so they were mucho excited. Abby wanted me to curl her hair. She bought special shoes for the occasion. Ford wore an argyle sweater-vest. We made homemade lollipops to give out for our valentine exchange. They were pretty and fun, although the kids didn't get to help much because of the high temperatures. I contributed to the party in two ways. I brought in the craft - fancy Valentines for a special someone. Textured paper, heart cut-outs and doilies made them very cute. I also donned a pair of giant heart-shaped glasses and painted faces for the event. This was my third time painting faces but I hadn't done it since our preschool days. After I volunteered, I realized that they might be expecting a lot from someone who steps up out of nowhere and volunteers. I mean, they might think I do this sort of thing all the time! I went online and printed out some design ideas and even came up with several of my own which I sketched out. Well, once I sat down and dove in, I realized that I have a hidden talent! I did 3 fire-breathing dragons! I did a heart with swirling rainbow ribbons. I did swords and shields. I did it all....30 times. I painted 30 little faces and joked with them that these were the glasses I wear all the time and acted silly and had them all smiling and happy by the end of the event.

After a week of nose-to-the-grindstone 6 hour homeschool days, tears at the piano, and basically wanting to pull my hair out - it was so much fun to just be in the presence of kids on their level. It's like what Wes Stafford talks about in Too Small to Ignore, you have to get on their level...you have to invite them into your world and be invited by them into theirs. Jesus didn't sit down with the kids because he wanted to teach his disciples a lesson. He sat down with the kids because they loved him and because he loved them. Instead of making chit-chat with the other moms, I had the pleasure of making 30 children smile. Plus, Abby and Ford got to see their mom in a new way. It was really great. I finally got to paint my own kids' faces on Valentine's day (see above).

I'm not sure what Valentines plans we have now that we're likely to be iced in tomorrow. I guess maybe a family movie day and some tomato soup and grilled cheese? Maybe some heart-shaped pancakes? I do know we're having my favorite thing for dinner: ribs and champagne. I think for once, Valentine's Day is teaching me a lesson in love. The only thing I'm really looking forward to is some homemade valentines and a lot of hugs and cuddles.

I *heart* Blogging

I've been keeping up with work nicely since the shift to PM. I haven't had much time for creative writing yet, although I did get a great brainstorming session in one night. I added another layer to the characters that will really bring them to life. I think the past few months of life lessons has definitely seasoned me some more. Plus, I've learned from great writers like C.S. Lewis, that dark themes and struggle is just as appealing to children as it is to adults. I don't want to create something that's so full of sunshines and smiles that you'll want to vomit after reading it. I want something more realistically-unrealistic.



I've also been spending some much needed time updating my homeschooling blog, PTO of One. I'm finally able to see what's working for us and what's not. That was the whole point of starting that blog! However, getting through the last 4 months in one piece was of paramount importance. It's nice that I can finally go back and pick up where I left off and see a nice picture of what we've done so far. I had a really rough Monday and I spewed venom all over the pages of PTO. If you look for that post, I deleted it...sorry. I think I needed to take a step back and concentrate on what we've accomplished so far. Once I started doing that, I realized that we had a lot to be proud of. If you need some great ideas for a geography unit study or are interested in my reviews of the curriculum and books we've been using this year, make sure you visit from time to time.

Time Crunch

Well, my 3-4 hours is really more like 2 hours at night -- unless I want to stay up until 12:30 writing. I guess I could do that when I'm really into it. However, considering that Baxter sleeps right next to the PC, that wouldn't be very nice on a work-night. So, I just finished writing about hamburgers - 20 pages about hamburgers (oh, and biscuits too). I'm still catching up on what I missed while my computer was out sick and will probably be doing that all week long. Perhaps next week will be lighter from my paid-gig and I can take some time then to focus on creative pursuits. I guess we'll see how it all works out. I did manage to write 1,000 words of bitching today on my homeschool blog. It's not really supposed to be about that but it was just the sort of day I had. Homeschool Mamas -- you know what I mean. It felt great to moan in a place where no one else is likely to hear me. I'm convinced that complaining is a great reason to blog. Once you get it off your chest you can move on. We were able to move on after my post and had a fairly successful day. I think that time and pressure is getting to me a little bit. I also have a great fear of my children not performing as well as they should and that it would all be my fault since I'm their only teacher. I know that's crazy but it's the truth.



Other stuff going on around here: I'm helping organize and host the Valentine's party for our homeschooling group. Tonight something came over me and I volunteered to face-paint. I explained that I am not really experienced with this and have only done it in the past for their old preschool so I hope they don't have their hopes up. It's looking to be a challenging week ahead but I'm ready to tackle it. Do you always have time for everything you want in your life? Are there things you're leaving out that you shouldn't?

Bona Fide

I've had a couple of people ask me to post again so I'm here for a brief post. Unfortunately, I am so swamped with work right now, I really can't justify spending very long on blogger. I'm enjoying a cozy Sunday morning in my fleece PJ's and a good cup of french-press coffee (my 3rd). For those of you who watch your caffeine intake that probably sent your jaws dropping. I don't usually drink that much coffee but it's just a coffee kind of day.

We didn't go to church again today. I felt bad last week that we weren't there - but the temps outside have made that guilt dissipate. Perhaps we'll visit Christchurch next week. Right now, I feel okay about it. I used to think that if you weren't in a church every Sunday that you were backsliding. Now I feel that God knows my heart and he understands me - maybe even better than I understand myself - and that if I need to take a little time to find a church home, that's okay.

So, what are we doing today? Baxter is fixing up our bathroom. Some of you have been to our little cottage, but some of you have not. Our bathroom was added to the house in the 1940's. Before that, there was an outhouse out back and a pump for water. No lie. So, the bathroom is teeny-tiny and the four of us share it every day. We're not ready for any big renovations at this point. We just want to make it look and feel a little nicer for the time being. If there's one thing I've learned over the last few years it is that there's just no telling what the future will bring. So, we're learning to make do with what we have for now. The good news is, with a cosmetic makeover, the bathroom is never really out of commission and the kids and I can stay put right here when it's 32 degrees outside.

Our computer was attacked by a virus a while back and we finally got it all cleaned off. Following a week without my computer, I am so far behind with work. That's what I'll be doing for the remainder of my day. I'll be writing some on-hold messages for Hardee's, Carl Jr's, a women's spa and a bunch of other smaller stuff. It's just all so glamorous! During the week I couldn't write, I did a lot of thinking about writing. I remembered that my goal when I met Baxter was to become a working writer. I achieved that. I am a bona fide, actual, paid writer. Is it my dream job? Is it even something I ever considered I would end up doing? Nope - and that's okay. I achieved goal number one. So, what's goal number two? Am I going to really write this book I keep daydreaming about?

I've decided to give up weeknight TV for Lent. This will probably mean spending a lot less time with my husband but I hope it will be inspiring to him as well. I'm going to use my time to write. In between homeschooling, cleaning, errands, activities and work, I have no time left for creative writing. If I'm going to be serious, I need 3-4 hours a day. The only time I have is at night. So I'm doing it. I'm finally at a place where my father isn't occupying all my extra emotional space and where the little pieces of my life are pretty much on auto-pilot. There's just no better time than now. However, the last time I made a pledge like this to myself, my father died. I hope I'm reading God's cues correctly. I think this is what He wants for me. We shall see. For today, it's Hardee's hamburgers. Fun fun fun.