Well, I finished the book, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, the other day. It was not very long but it took me a long time to read. I had to pause after each section and reflect. It's one of those books. I feel like my eyes have been opened. I feel like I can finally, truly, understand my son. What a blessing! It had been on my reading list for a long time - ever since I saw part of the PBS documentary based on the book way back when I was pregnant with Ford. I knew I wanted to read it eventually. I was under the impression that as long as I read it before he was 12, I'd be okay. I basically thought those parental pitfalls would occur later, not sooner. Now, I wish I had read it then, while I was pregnant, instead of East of Eden. I know there are things I do - have done - that are flawed. I expect different things from Ford than from Abby. Like the book suggests, I expect less of him and more of him (but not in the good ways). Let me explain. I expect him to be more aggressive and I chalk it up to "boy-ness" and view it as normal (lower expectations) while at the same time, I expect him to be tough when he's just a 3 year old (higher expectations).
I have been blessed with a son and a daughter. In many ways, this is ideal. We often quip that we have "one of each". But my children are not Happy Meal prizes to collect. They are different in many ways and to finally be able to recognize the real differences and put aside my own stereotypes is a very powerful thing. Baxter...wait for the drum roll...is reading it too. As much as I got out of it, I think he will gain far more insight.
After a frustrating time of misunderstanding Ford, now I feel equipped with the right set of tools for raising the man that he will someday become. If you have a son, or simply work with boys in a classroom or other setting, take a little time to read this wonderfully insightful book.
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