On Solid Ground

Everybody likes to feel the ground underneath their feet. Just ask anyone who had been on a very turbulent flight or signed up for a cruise that lasted more than 4 days. The earth feels good. When we are grounded, we are reassured: we aren't falling, we aren't drifting and we aren't cast away. Sometimes life does unexpected things. Sometimes we experience turbulence of one kind or another and we feel our lives are out of balance. For some time, a part of our life has been very much uncertain. With the economy tanking and the promise of a blossoming career in real estate fading away, everything began to get out of sync. Baxter was distracted and discouraged, I was distracted and confused and the kids were beginning to show the signs of worry and strain. Even my prayer life and closeness to God began to feel estranged. I didn't know what to pray for. I didn't know what to ask for. There didn't seem to be any answers. It seems that just at the point that I realized how distant I felt from my Lord, He brought me back. He gave me answers to my questions and He showed us a way out. Like an epiphany, suddenly everything seemed clear. When I was riddled with anxiety, He brought me rest. Instead of feeling like we had no way out of this mess, all I could now see was the light shining from the doorway. If you have ever felt like God picked you up and placed you in the palm of His hand and carried you to solid ground, you know what I'm talking about.

Someone else I know was going to lose their house and told me it would take a miracle to keep it from being auctioned. Desperation all over their face, I felt almost selfish for my new happiness and miracle at our own time of crisis. I prayed for them. Don't believe in miracles? Maybe you should, because they got one. These are uncertain and difficult times but God has a plan. There has always been a plan. God didn't plan everything up until now and leave us with an open-ending. If you are facing a crisis, believe in the power of prayer and let go of your doubts. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. Do not question His ways. He loves you and He may not give you exactly what you want - but He will undoubtedly give you what you need. Whatever that is, embrace it and thank Him for it.

We aren't completely out of the woods yet here. We still need to sell our house and move. Baxter is frantically searching for a job in Atlanta. But the worry is gone. I am confident that whatever happens will be for the best. We have everything we need already.

Thanks for reading this far. I hope that sharing this has been some comfort to someone.

Be Joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

In My Opinion

I recently saw a book about Political Cartoons (which I love) titled, "Everyone Has the Right To My Opinion." It really made me laugh because I feel that way sometimes. Who cares about my blog, anyway? It's just basically a place for me to give my unending opinions on all sorts of topics - and I'm not printing it in the daily newspaper! So, everyone has the "right" to my opinion - but not that many exercise that right. I just read a great post on Jennifer's blog about politics and I wanted to spread the word to anyone reading. She is a big fan of author Lisa Samson and there is a new group on Facebook called "No Matter Who Wins". I just joined it and the concept is great. No matter who wins the office of the Presidency, we need to pray for that person. I love politics and I love debating. I love giving my opinions on candidates and issues. I love the whole thing. But so much of what I love has gotten out of hand. I can no longer stomach the personal attacks on these people. I can no longer sit idly by while Baxter muddles through the long list of emails - most of which I find either irrelevant or disturbing - without saying something. We cannot hear God when we're screaming at each other all the time! No matter what your "hot-button issue" is, no matter if you live in a "battleground State" a red state, or a blue one: we can all do more for ourselves and our country if we really try to do what was commanded of us in the Bible in the first place - to love one another. We take for granted the fact that we live in the most free country in the world. We take for granted the fact that all of the candidates are good people, with good intentions, who want what is best for us. If somehow I am wrong about this and one day we end up with a dictator, our system of government is set up in such a way that he or she would not remain in power for very long. The people are in charge, we should never forget that. Even more importantly, God is in charge. That's right, He is. And there is nothing anyone down here can do about it. How do we reconcile ourselves as Christians, in this heated political climate, to these facts? Prayer. Simple, wonderful, prayer. If you are interested in transcending the rhetoric and holding on to your faith, I encourage you visit Crossroads or if you are a member of facebook, join the group "No Matter Who Wins" to find out more.

Big, Big Decisions

The time has come for change (no, this is not a political speech). The change I'm talking about is huge, though. How much can I manage to change in just a year? I mean, one year ago, I was completely sucked into the sport of tennis. I was taking a clinic once a week, playing in a rec-league, playing on a team and playing with friends "for fun" once a week. How self-absorbed does that sound? I still had my copywriting job and I was part of a really intense year-long bible study that took up lots of time just to stay on top of the reading. My kids were both at GABC Preschool and the thing I cherished most were those mornings to myself. After a tumultuous time the second-half of the school year in which we all had the flu, Ford's surgery in February and many problems for my Abby in the classroom, I was happy when Summer came. I felt we all needed to slow down. Then, like a lightening bolt, it hit me. The year, although a building one for me, wasn't all it was cracked up to be for my kids - or Baxter, for that matter. That's when I was led to the decision to homeschool Abby. That decision alone caused so many changes in our lives. The self-absorbed me has been replaced by one who is in almost constant contact with her kids and save for a few trying moments, I have loved it. I haven't picked up a tennis racket in months but I am reading more and I feel better connected to the reality of our lives.
So, what's the big decision now? What is the change to come? We are moving. We came to Athens three and a half years ago with hopes of building our wealth. He joined the family business (real estate) and we have had the opportunity to grow closer to his family here. We have forged some really wonderful friendships here as well. Unless you live under a rock, you are well aware of the problems in the current market. Real estate had taken a huge hit and it was dwindling already. That, coupled with other problems in the business, has forced Baxter to make the decision to start over again - again. It just so happens that Atlanta, one hour and fifteen minutes away, is the best place for us to do that! These are uncertain times for many people. He has no job offer yet. He almost did - until the company announced a hiring freeze. Now, we are moving without definite prospects, and that's a little scary. In fact, it's a lot scary. Still, I know we are doing the right thing. The other night when I began to have some doubts, God sent me the comfort and reassurance I needed. So now I am trusting. Now it's an act of faith.
Our plan is to buy my grandmother's house near downtown Smyrna. It's a great location and we can see ourselves living in this area forever once we build a house. For now, we have to live in Grandma's house. It's really, really small. So small, in fact, that you would probably think I was out of my mind to even try to squeeze us all in it. But it is an opportunity. It is a chance for us to save everything. There are simply no more opportunities here in Athens. It appears that our move here was only meant to be a Season in our lives and it is time to move on. God gave us an answer when this opportunity presented itself; but there are still challenges to be met. Whoever out there reads this blog - I am soliciting your prayers. We need them. I need them.

Breaking Glass

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a wonderful birthday! It began with breakfast in bed (home-made blueberry pancakes, thank you very much) along with sunny birthday greetings from Abby and Ford. I was allowed to do everything I wanted - and nothing I didn't. When one of our dogs pooped and peed in the house and then later another dog puked all over the floor - Baxter had to clean it all up. (Not typical, by the way!) When the children were misbehaving, Baxter handled it without having to be coaxed. And when I wasn't ready to leave the house until after 11AM, no one was urging me to hurry up. It was lovely. I think that must be what it is like to be a Princess. I certainly felt like one. Taking my time, leisurely deciding to have a second cup of coffee or choosing our lunch destination since our picnic was rained out. I felt relaxed, low-key and very comfortable. Late in the day, I read a beautiful birthday blog-post, written by my dear friend Jennifer. I love tears of joy.

Baxter delivered the final blow to a birthday knock-out by serving me his Baby Back Ribs and a delicious bottle of champagne (my favorite meal). Of course, this was followed by a chocolate Kahlua cake from Cecelia's and a lovely present that he and the children picked out. Perfection.


At the end of the evening, long after the children had gone to bed, it was time for us to retire. I picked up our wine glasses and whisked them off to the kitchen where I promptly knocked one over. They are reliably sturdy glasses and I have to say - it bounced three times before it finally broke! It was easy to clean up and I wasn't terribly upset. Somehow, it just felt like a sign or something. Being in a good mood and not wanting it ruined, I almost put the thought out of my head. Still, these things eat away at me sometimes. I decided to google it. What I found, of course, was all about the meaning behind the breaking of a wine glass in Jewish wedding ceremonies. Today is Yom Kippur if you didn't already know that. Anyway, it intrigued me. The symbolism is poignant and appeals to me on so many levels. The breaking glass is supposed to serve as, "a reminder that even in times of great joy, there is sadness. That life will bring sadness as well as joy."

I am always trying to find the joy in things. I feel that in some way it is my personal responsibility to do so. This new perspective is refreshing and eye-opening for me. We all experience sadness and I can be too quick to brush it aside, choosing instead to ignore the dark cloud inside the silver lining. However, too much of this attitude leads to self-denial.


For today, I took it as a sign that although my birthday was full of so much joy in so many ways - both little and profound - there is some sadness as well. I toasted my 31st year as my best ever. I grew so much in the last 12 months and am very proud of myself for the personal accomplishments I have made. I suppose I am a little sad to see it go. Hopefully, I will feel exactly the same way on my next birthday.

Dark Clouds & Silver Linings

For me, this was a long break from blogging. I have been editing some future posts here and there (especially on my food blog!) but I haven't really had much to say here. The stress monster has reared its' ugly head and I've been pretty worn-down. If you don't talk to me often, you may not know all the different hats I've been wearing lately - housewife, homeschooling mom, short-order cook, gourmet chef, soccer cheerleader, yoga practitioner, yoga instructor, physical therapist, part time copywriter, part time secretary, ebay seller etc... Of course, the Fall is always a little bit like this for me. Last year I took on a new job, a new sport, a very intense Bible study and more. This year must be more demanding than I realized because I feel very taxed right now. Many times over the last week I would have rather been blogging - but was just too busy. It has started to really effect me physically. Last night, for no apparent reason, I woke up at 1AM with a panic attack! Maybe that's TMI - but there it is. Baxter took the kids off my hands this afternoon so I could catch up with some writing and I feel better but MAN I hate being a grown-up sometimes!

In keeping with the theme of this blog, I am trying to think of a silver lining to this dark cloud hanging over my day - but it's a little hard for me. I guess, like my last post, that would be Baxter. He is always willing to step in and help me out when I've taken on too much. Honestly, what would I do without him? As far as the panic attack goes, it may be less related to my stress level and more to the fact that I'm turning 32 on Wednesday. Yuck.

More than anything, maybe I just need to remind myself of my own mantra. Maybe I need to remember that joy is all around us. I just have to be open to it. Well, here's to stopping to smell the roses...