La Femme

I am taking a wonderful Sunday School class right now. It's been a long time since I was in Sunday School and I am really enjoying it. When I was a child, my dad used to drop me off at the covered door on the side of the church each Sunday for Sunday School and it was often the highlight of my week. Suddenly, I feel that way again for the first time. The class is about biblical womanhood. What an interesting subject. The lady that invited me to the class kept apologizing after the first week, saying how I was probably expecting a more interactive experience and instead got lectured at. What she doesn't know is that I enjoy lectures so I loved it. It focused on church doctrine and I couldn't have been more pleased. What better way to get to know a church quickly than to learn their full doctrine on your second week visiting! Like I told Katherine, I could have spent weeks visiting, wondering if something was going to come up that would make me want to stand up and run out of there. Now I have a good picture of what they're all about and I have no argument with their outlook -- so far, so good.

The second week was so interesting. It focused on the impact of the feminist movement on the evangelical woman - and on the church. It's such a huge topic that she really only had time to explain the timeline of the feminist movement and highlight its' impact. Still, I found myself gaining a lot of insight into my role in the family and where I can find the answers I'm seeking right now. I would love to find one of the books Sharon is using to teach this class. I plan on delving into this subject at length.

My thoughts are turning here this morning as I prepare to apply for a job. Yesterday I composed my resume and searched for copywriting jobs. I found two great ones that I'm qualified for. I was a little taken aback by that. Now, it seems that it's really going to happen. I'm really going to go back to work. I'm finding myself excited at this prospect. I was made with a purpose. I was made to spread the gospel where I can, when I can. I was made to be a help-mate for my husband and a teacher and nurturer to my children. That doesn't mean that I must stay home and continue on this path at the demise of my family. As much as I would love for us to be able to get by on Baxter's income alone, the reality is that it is impossible. We have been tracking our spending for several months now and I am really aware of what comes in, what goes out, and what our future financial needs are. Secondly, the house that we can buy is a real opportunity that I can't ignore. If this house had one more bedroom we could make it work a bit longer. However, having a son and daughter has its' challenges. One of them is a need for separate bedrooms as they get older. With Abby now 7 and Ford 5, that need is more and more palpable each day. So, why pass up an opportunity just because I thought we fit one social paradigm? I must be ready for the changes when they come.

So, what is Eve's role? What does helper really mean? This question makes me think of those times when my kids are really trying my patience and getting "in my way," only to explain to me that they're "helping" me. Help is only helpful when you're doing what is needed. Baxter doesn't need me to stay home right now. He needs me to help him financially. Back 150 years ago, before the Industrial Revolution, women and men helped equally in their homes and on their farms for subsistence. Only with Industrialization did men leave their homes and work outside for money, leaving women and children home to perform necessary chores and later leading women to feel less valued in their role of homemaker. I have never felt that way. In fact, I think if I were paid for what I do now, I'd make well over six-figures. I see going back to work as a necessary component of where Baxter and I would like to be financially. That said, I don't resent this change. I see it as part of God's greater plan.

I know that this will bring with it a new set of challenges. I pray that God helps me to prioritize my life in a way that would please Him. I pray for the safety and well being of my children and that I heavily consider all schooling options before I make a final decision. I pray for God to give me vision and clarity in this process. I pray that I may find the job that He has out there for me, one that will allow me to continue to head up my household and enjoy the aspects of domestic life that I love.