Consider The Sparrow

Well, I haven't written much lately because things are pretty unchanged around here. We are still painting our house and basically just trying to keep it clean and organized. With two kids here 24/7, that's an amazing accomplishment. We had to change the colors upstairs. Two rooms were a mossy green and two rooms a bright sunny yellow. Although lovely colors, neutral will sell much easier. That was the most time consuming - taping, priming, painting 2 coats. Now we're scrubbing the walls of the common areas and then we will spot paint them. We hope to finish that today. Then we will need another day or two to finish touching up the trim paint in the parts of the house we haven't hit yet. What I wanted to take one week has turned into three. It's always that way, isn't it?
Our next step is to clean the carpets and detail all the cabinets - then basically just keep it like new. That is perhaps the most challenging part. We haven't even put a sign in our yard yet or anything. I feel like this is going snail speed. Meanwhile, I have vacillated between confidence in our decision and complete lack of faith. I feel like the stock market with so many ups and downs. I have obsessively watched the news each day hoping for some good news that will either positively effect our ability to sell our home or Baxter's possibility of work. So far, nothing good has really happened but we keep painting and cleaning and getting ready for ... whatever! With home prices falling and the credit market and mortgages in the toilet, I am reminded of the story of Noah in the Bible. He just kept building the ark, everyone calling him crazy. I hope we haven't done all of this for nothing!
I am also reading two new books: Positive Discipline A to Z and The Shack. I am really enjoying both and I feel that The Shack is giving me a lot of good perspective right now. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. I'm not one who believes in random occurrences, coincidences, or meaninglessness. Already trying to figure out this life-stage we are in and hoping that there is some great cosmic reason behind it, this book has reassured me of that fact. There is a lot of comfort in being able to lean not unto my own understanding. In fact, when you can just let go of your own notions about the way things ought to be, you are better able to see what you truly have. I have everything I ever wanted and then some. God has been good to me. Whatever the future holds, I know who I am and I appreciate the blessings I have been given. I am finally allowing myself to be the sparrow. I have always been a sparrow but somehow thought that the wanting, the struggle and the worry were helping. The truth is, none of that matters. I simply need to smile and say thank you and know that everything is working out in God's own wonderful, divine way.