End of April

Here is a long-overdue update on our house situation. We will have a contract signed by the end of April. Whoo-hoo! What this basically means is that if everything goes through, we will be getting that tax credit we wanted. That could help us buy a new car, so let's hope we can secure financing. Right now, I'm just waiting on Baxter's review to help me make my decision about working. Several things have happened that are coloring my decision.

I found myself networking last week with a woman in the "rich" side of my neighborhood who I didn't know as well as most others. I discovered she is in marketing and her husband is in advertising. She offered to help me get back into the workplace and wants me to send her my resume. On the surface, this sounds like it could be an amazing opportunity. However, some part of me sees everything going on in my life right now as a huge test. This woman, although very funny to be around, is not at all like I would like to see myself in 5 years. She works all the time, her son has a nanny, and she is very career/money driven and not godly at all.

Then, I found myself in a conversation with a very successful attorney/mother who goes to my church. She is a very godly woman and understands the struggle I'm facing completely. I know that going back to work isn't breaking a commandment or anything, but I do see who I surround myself with as a reflection of the direction I'm going. I need to tread lightly here.

I also have heard of women who work 3 days a week, or even full time and still manage to homeschool. I'm so torn. I finally told Baxter that he needs to have this review SOON and he needs to look at me and say, "ok, this is how much I make ____, this is how much we spend _____, this is what I need you to contribute ______. Only then can I take what I have been weighing and make a real decision.

If you're praying for me, please pray that first and foremost, God sends me clear direction in these decisions. Pray that I can trust God fully with where He leads me. Pray that I have the strength (both mentally and physically) to keep up with this busy life I have. Finally, pray that my marriage will benefit from these changes. I could see that it might be difficult on our energy and patience with each other if I'm stretched too thin.