If you check the date of my last blog entry, it just so happened to be the first day of school. Of course, I didn't write about the first day of school because the whole point was to distract myself from my feelings of panic and anxiety! Let me paint the picture for you...
It was early on Thursday morning. We had been up since 6 and the whole family arrived together with backpacks and bags of school supplies. We walked into the school and were greeted by friendly faces all around. After signing ourselves into the visitor log, we humbly made our way down the hallway towards Abby's class. Once at her room, Abby sauntered off, turned around once and flipped a brief wave in our direction and was gone. Little Miss Independent was happy to be there. We continued on to Ford's classroom and arrived to a very busy scene of parents and Kindergartners and many awkward good-byes. I showed him his hook and he hung up his bag. He looked happy to see his name on things. Then we delivered school supplies to his teacher. Baxter took him to a table to settle in and I spoke to the teacher, doing my best to hold back the tears. Ford, however, was teary-eyed himself and looked like he might haul off and hit somebody if they crossed him. Reluctantly, we decided to leave.
That morning was strange. The house seemed empty. The pets even wondered what I had done with the children. I settled in with a cup of coffee on the deck. I listened to the birds and I spent time praying and reading my Bible. I began to get comfortable with myself again. I decided to work on something so I started some ad copy for Great Wraps that needed to be back that day. I had just gotten into a groove when the phone rang. It was Mrs. Merletti. Ford was inconsolable. "We are giving you the option," she said, "of either coming to get him or trying to console him over the phone." Well, not being one to give up too easily, I decided to try and comfort him over the phone first in the hopes that he could remain there until the release bell rang. Between sobs, I told him that he was a big boy. I told him that he could control himself if he wanted to. I told him that I loved him and I trusted his teacher to take care of him. He listened and he tried and in the end he pulled himself together. From 11 am until 2 pm, I waited for the phone to ring again. I waited and I waited. I had to have a distraction but writing about gyros was next to impossible so I decided to blog - blog about vacation. I enjoyed that post! However, even at the end of my keyboard time, the anxiety returned. For three hours I felt like I could throw up. Once they were in the car again, I could feel my blood pressure returning to normal. The panic started to subside.
I never believed my parents when they said things were harder on them than on me. Who ever believes that nonsense? Well, apparently, they were right. It is harder on the parents. I mean, I'm sure it was a difficult day for him too but even now he looks back on that day as a "big" day an "important" one....me? I just feel exhausted even thinking about it. The subsequent days were easier and after a week or two, he is downright happy to go to school and I'm happy to have this new schedule of professional and personal time to myself.
Ford came down with something yesterday and I kept them both out of school today. Early on, I was kind of happy to have them both here. We watched National Velvet and The Three Stooges and ate popsicles. Then things appeared worse so I decided a trip to the doctor was in order. Turns out he has strep throat. Suddenly, I wish he were in school and I was missing him instead of him being sickly and upset and near me. Poor thing.
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